Adam Levine: Sexiest Man Alive 2013?

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For years now People’s magazine puts together a special magazine specifically for the sexy celebrity men in our life. Winners of this coveted cover have been Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Johnny Depp, and let’s not forget when they chose Bradley Cooper over Ryan Gosling and the world almost stopped spinning.Anyway this year it seems as though Adam Levine is the front runner for sexiest man alive, here is where I put my foot down and say no. I will not allow for such a thing to happen! I get it, he has tattoos, a nice smile, and can kind of sing but come on really? Out of all the people in the industry you want to use Adam Levine? I have a list of about 10 other people I can think of that deserve it more than this guy.

1. Justin Timberlake just had the year of his life, give it to him!

2. Charlie Hunnam is British AND sexy.

3. Chris Hemsworth is Thor and Australian.

4. Ryan Gosling because every female is in love with him.

5. Usher because I love him.

6. Idris Elba because he is fucking gorgeous and seems like a real badass.

7. Zac Efron because my boyfriend needs a break this year, other than his jaw of course.

Okay so I could only think of 7 guys who really deserve it which is fine by me because these 7 blow that skeezy singer out of the water!

GQ Men of the Year 2013

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GQ is one of those magazines that I honestly do not pay much attention to. I feel like they want straight men to read it and use their helpful fashion tips but I don’t think that actually happens. Maybe it does, fuck if I know! Anyway they recently made a top 5 of the men of the year and here you have it.

Matthew McConaughey, Will Ferrell, Justin Timberlake, Kendrick Lamar, and James Gandolfini

First off I will say that I am 300% behind making James Gandolfini one of the men of the year. He pretty much changed television as Tony Soprano and from what everyone says he was an awesome guy. Great actor+awesome guy+ died too soon= GQ man of the year.
Justin Timberlake is also an obvious shoe in for this man of the year award. In the magazine he kind of sounds like a dick saying that he will never give up on acting and gets mad when people say his movies bomb…because they do…Other than that though he deserves it. Growing up I was always a BSB fan but lets be real Justin Timberlake is quickly taking Michael Jackson’s spot at king of pop since he is constantly reinventing himself and the music he sings.
Kendrick Lamar is an alright choice, I don’t really know too much about him but I have heard his music and it is good. He also called out every rapper ever so he has some balls even though he stands at like 5’2.
Will Ferrell- This one I don’t understand, then again I have never understood the whole love of Will Ferrell, he is alright in my opinion but plays the same character in every movie. He is coming out with Anchorman 2 and everyone is getting their panties in a bunch so it makes yet again, I get why they put him on the cover. Having him as himself and as Ron Burgendy is also a genius idea.
Matthew McConaughey, I fucking hate this choice. I cannot stand Matthew McConaughey and I haven’t for years now. I get it you have a weird stoner like southern drawl but why in the fuck is he on this cover? If it is because he didn’t make a sequel to Fool’s Gold then sign me up. Maybe it was because he lost all that weight for some movie that is coming out soon. Whatever it is, he shouldn’t be on this cover. Just sayin’.

Drake and Rihanna: New Power Couple?

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Oh Na Na, word on the street is that Drake and Rihanna are getting cozy again. To this I will shout from the rooftops how happy I am about this. Since I heard Drake say that Rihanna was good with them soft lips, I knew that they were meant to be. Well he sang those lyrics in a song but I assume that it is true. Anyway, I was shattered when she left him the first time for Chris Beatherdown Brown but this could be their shot! They allegedly spent about 10,000 at a strip club in Texas and left together at 5 a.m. Looks like wheelchair Jimmy doesn’t have any issues with anything anymore. If Drake and Rihanna get together it means more amazing collaborations between the two of them.

Honestly though I think think Drake is like Screech and Rihanna is like Lisa Turtle. Or that Rihanna is like Jackie while Drake is like Fex. The boy will pine over her for years and maybe, just maybe they will end up together. I won’t hold my breath though. In the mean time I will simply sing Oh Na Na and think of a couple name for these two. Drihanna? Rihake? Eh, that will take some time.

Alec Baldwin: Asshole or realist?

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There comes a time when a man like Alec Baldwin must face the music with his outpouring hatred of just about everyone. Yesterday he was on the stand due to a stalking case, where he cried about how much it hurt his life, and eventually the stalker was found guilty. Since then though it seems like Alec has really lost his shit. He called a paprazzi a “cock sucking fag” his words not mine. I get it paparazzi are overbearing to celebrities, I really do understand that but those terms, after you have already been in trouble for saying terms like this before? I can see Tina Fey shaking her head in shame right now.

Now my question is, is this finally the end to Baldwin? Well people finally stop liking him and laughing at his terrible jokes? I really have no idea. I personally stopped liking him back when I was 13 or 14 because he called his daughter a 12 year old ungrateful little pig. Let us not forget Words With Friends gate last year either. He wasn’t very polite to anyone then either.

Are people finally going to be sick of this bloated alcoholic mess of an “actor”, a term I use very loosely when it comes to him.

Lorde can be my ruler.

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Lorde can be my ruler, I truly mean that when I say it too. Lorde is the newest musician that has really caught the attention of me and the rest of the world. She has a very different sound, like Lana Del Rey except way better. Another thing is that she is only 16 and she is talking about walking tiger’s on gold leashes, what a fucking badass. When people say that Lorde’s song “Royals” is annoying it is clear that they just don’t understand what good music is. Being only 16 if you listen to more than just the song “Royals” as a listener you will realize that she is wise beyond her years. Although she has thrown shade at my queen Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and little Selena Gomez she doesn’t really get any shit for it because she is just so damn talented. Lorde is going to rule the music scene for a while, I am sure of it. A sound that is unique and isn’t about a break up is just what the music industry needs. A young strong vocalist who seems to have a good head on her shoulders. So Lorde, you can be my ruler, I will call you queen B (Although the true Queen B will always be Blair Waldorf) and you can live your fantasy. If you haven’t listened to her other songs I would strongly recommend doing that right this instant.

Justin Bieber: Fastest fall from grace of all time.

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I have an actual question for everyone that reads my blog, has anyone had a faster downfall than Justin Bieber? It is a true question that I have thought about for a while now. Bieber became big in 2009 and now that it is nearing 2014 everyone seems to be waiting for his mental break down. I feel as though his downfall started when his sweet angelic Canadian voice changed into a southern accent, it was like Madonna having an English accent. I will admit, when Bieber first came out I was in awe that a 15 year old had such talent, I thought he was absolutely incredible! As the years went on and his Christmas album played constantly in the retail store I worked at, I realized how much I hated him. When he covered “All I want for Christmas” I became furious, how dare he cover a Mariah song. Yes, I am aware that she was on the song as well but it was still horrible. His true downfall started after he released the song “Boyfriend” and totally jacked Justin Timberlake’s “Like I Love You” music video. When him and Selena broke up he dropped even further, it was pretty interesting to watch for sure. Now in 2013 after a half sleeve of hideous tattoos, shirtless pictures for days, and then getting filmed by a creepy Brazilian he has lost it. He lost the wow factor that he once had. Now those are only a few things that made him really fall from grace. I might as well add the whole rapping career he thinks he has, the Brazilian brothel that he went to, pissing in mop buckets, getting pulled over every day, and using the term “Wild Kidz” thinking it was a good name. My theory is that now that Justin Timberlake is back there can only be one Justin. Sorry Bieber but I give you one more year then you will be just another joke that people scoff at, a male Lindsay Lohan, a what could have been. If you want to take my advice, stop mumbling through your songs, stop getting stupid tattoos, and stop complaining about not having privacy when you run around shirtless.

Catching Fire: Red Carpet Review.

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Now by a red carpet review I simply mean this one photo that this cast has taken since the first red carpet event for the Hunger Games. This picture infuriates me for many reasons. Number one, Josh Hutcherson’s height. Now people can say that it is cute that he is little but guess what, it isn’t, not when the rest of the leads are 5’9 and taller. Picking a leading man who is shorter than the leading lady is never a smart move, even if he does fit the role. Anyway, I also hate that it is always in this order, Tallest to shortest, why not the other way around? Or put baby Josh Hutcherson in the middle? I know that this post is pretty pointless but it bothers me. I will post my favorite picture though just for your viewing pleasure. It isn’t from a red carpet but rather an awards show.

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The mysterious case of Zac Efron’s jaw

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Zac Efron is a Greek God, gorgeous blue eyes, muscles for days, and a jawline made from stone. So I thought at least. So far these past three months haven’t been the best for the gorgeous actor. It was leaked that Mr.Efron had two trips to rehab for coke and alcohol problems and that he wasn’t showing up on set of his movie Neighbors. Anyway the strangest story this year has to be his broken jaw right? Poor little Zac has to have his jaw wired shut for God knows how long because he slipped on a puddle outside of his house? Now let me tell you, I have had some pretty serious falls in my life but breaking your jaw from falling? That doesn’t sound right to me. After doing a little more digging, thanks to TMZ, I learned that he also didn’t call 911 he somehow just ended up in the ER.

Now I am one for conspiracy theories, that is for sure.

Theory 1) Zac was chewing on a jawbreaker and just so happened to fall at the same time, therefor he broke his jaw,

Theory 2) Zac was feening for some coke and clenched his jaw so hard it broke.

Theory 3) My final theory is probably the most realistic one. He was drunk and fell and broke his jaw.

I am really curious to see how this all play’s out since his publicists clearly don’t know how to make a real cover up story. For now I will just sit here and pray that his fantastic jawline doesn’t get fucked up for good.

Miley Cyrus Virus

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Miley Cyrus lit up a blunt at the EMA’s over the weekend and everyone is losing their shit. Most people are over her wild antics but I say, bring it on. If someone didn’t smoke weed on stage I would be upset. The shows were taking place in Amsterdam! Fucking Amsterdam! It isn’t like she lit up a blunt at Buckingham Palace. She lit it up where basically everything is legalized and no one gives a fuck about anything except for having a good time. She also sang her ass off that night and probably just needed a little Mary Jane to relax after such an amazing performance. Maybe it was a celebratory blunt because she won an award! To those of you who are saying she is a bad role model and doesn’t deserve her fame let me list off people who are worse role models and you could dislike more than little Miley Cyrus and her twerking weed smoking ass.

10.Cameron Diaz- I have read for years that she is extremely rude to her fans. Fuck you we pay to see your shitty movies.

09. Ben Rothlisberger- Or as I like to call him Ben “Rapelisberger”, to be accused of rape on different occasions isn’t a good look for anyone never mind a professional football player. I think if you are accused of raping someone more than 3 times there is a good chance you actually did rape someone. I am just sayin!

08. Justin Bieber- He has a whole list of things against him but I don’t feel the need to list them since people most likely already know what I am going to say.What pissed me off the most though is when he pissed in a mop bucket. Bro that is someones job, just because they don’t make millions doesn’t mean they dont matter.

07. Rachel McAdams- She lied about her age when she first became famous and she is in another movie about time travelers.

06. Alec Baldwin- He called his 12 year old daughter a pig once and attacks every paparazzi that he sees. He also likes Words With Friends, so he is obviously living in 2011, grow up.

05. Sinead O’Connor- She ripped up a picture of the Pope then went on to yell at Miley for being too controversial.

04. Michael Vick- How many dogs did he kill? People say that he did his time and is now back in the NFL. If someone can harm a poor defenseless animal then fuck them. He should be in jail for life.

03. R.Kelly- Remember that time he married Aliyah (RIP) when she was like 15 then they got divorced so he allegedly pee’d on some random 14 year olds. Yeah, fuck that guy.

02. Courtney Love- Just google that train wreck. She isn’t a fun one to watch either.

01. Chris Brown- If there is one thing about this blog you should realize now, this man is a man I truly hate. He beat the absolute shit out of Rihanna and people still love him. No man should ever put his hands on a woman, ever. He has also throw chairs out of windows in fits of rage. Chris Brown is an asshole. Plain and simple, doesn’t deserve his fame.

Mark Wahlberg vs. Tom Cruise

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Right now I would say that the hottest celebrity fued at the moment is Mark Wahlberg and Tom Cruise. For those of you who live under a rock Tom Cruise went on to say something like being and actor is as hard as being a soldier, some bullshit like that. Mark Wahlberg immediately sat up and said, wait that is fucking stupid, yaddah yaddah yaddah, everyone loves Mark and hates Tom. Cool. What most people seem to forget is that Wahlberg isn’t much better than Cruise. A few years back Mark Wahlberg said if he was one one of the hijacked planes of 9/11 things would have went down differently. Really Mark? You would have stopped the terrorists? My point of this blog is that Mark Wahlberg is just as much of an asshole as Tom Cruise, he just isn’t a weird Scientologist so people are quicker to forgive Marky Mark.

-Oh and right away Mark said that it wasn’t a jab at Tom Cruise, so Mark is a little bitch.